9. Bizarre

Remember the 50-something who came in with what she thought was a labial wart (and knew that genital warts are STDs)? It looked looked like a wart but sounded like herpes (itching, tender); biopsy showed herpes; so I tested her herpes immunity which suggested exposure in the distant past. I explained (trying to be as discrete as possible) that this could have been the result of a peck on the cheek from a cousin with a cold sore, that found its way down south. Granted this is unlikely, but the appearance of a herpes lesion is no reason to reevaluate a marriage. Dirty socks on the floor, yes; recurrent herpes, no. Her reply? "Bizarre"